It Ain't Easy
by Cassie James
Summary: A little Dawson/Casey fic set after the events of episode 9 'It Ain't Easy'. This chapter is tame, but the second one will be M rated and for good reason so you've been warned! :) Dawson muses over her evening and her feelings for Casey. What will happen when he shows up on her doorstep? Unfortunately, I still own nothing...
1. Chapter 1

**There is a distinct lack of good Dawson/Casey fic so I decided to write my own. Set after the end to Episode 9 'It Ain't Easy'. This chapter is tame, but chapter 2 will contain some M rated fun so you have been warned! ;) Reviews make the world go round... And please, be honest! If you hate it I'd love to know why! I rushed this and haven't had a chance to proof read it so if you find any typos give me a heads up. Anyway, enjoy! Cassie x**

Mulling over the events of the evening Gabriella decided it could have been worse. She wasn't sure how, but hey - she had a new picture for her wall at least right? She also had a lot of questions. Had her and Casey almost kissed? It felt like they had. But then his phone had buzzed and he'd gotten all weird and left? They had definitely been flirting with each other. She didn't understand it! All he'd said was "Vargas" and left her hanging - frustrated and with a home-cooked meal she'd slaved over going to waste.

At least her window was fixed...

Jeez! She downed the last of her beer, put the leftovers in the fridge and padded down the hall to the bathroom. A cold shower was what she needed, so with a sigh she stripped off her clothes and stepped under the cool water. It felt good, pounding on her skin, easing the tension and clearing her mind.

Maybe it was better that Casey had left. She liked him, that was for sure. Hell, she wasn't above using that other four letter 'l' word where he was concerned. But that didn't mean it was a good idea. He'd only just split with his fiancée and did she really want to be his rebound? Then there was the fact that they worked together...

Relationships amongst colleagues in the fire house were not allowed and did she really want either of them to leave 51? No. Would she leave the job she loved for him?

The most honest answer she could give for that was 'maybe' and the fact that it wasn't an outright 'no' worried her. Was she being stupid? Potentially jeopardizing everything she'd achieved - for the sake of a guy? She chewed her bottom lip and pressed her palms flat against the tiled wall, focussing her attention on the bubbles swirling down the plughole as she let the water pound the overwrought muscles in her back.

She pounded the wall in frustration and let out a strangled scream. This was so stupid! SHE was so stupid! Casey probably didn't even like her like that. He was just helping a friend out, right? She was reading too much into nothing. She had to get him out of her head for the sake of her sanity.

With a frustrated sigh Dawson climbed out of the shower and wrapped herself in a fluffy white towel. Grabbing a second towel from the rail she twisted her long dark hair up and set about her moisturising routine. She carefully began massaging cocoa butter into her tan skin, starting at her ankles and slowly and methodically working her way up. When she'd finished she set about untangling her hair and braiding it. By the time she was done she felt a lot better, relaxed and more clear headed than she had in days.

A good nights sleep was what she needed so pulling on some black panties and a tank top she slid between the cool cotton sheets on her bed and let sleep take her far more easily than she had any right to hope it would. She wasn't sure how long she dozed for but it didn't feel like long before she was awoken by a tapping at the door.

She toyed with the idea of ignoring it but it was a persistent 'tap, tap, tap' and she couldn't let it carry on for too long. She rolled out of bed and drowsily made her way down the hall, leaning on the wall to guide her way as she blinked from the sudden bright light. Standing on tiptoes she peered through the door viewer and then quickly opened the door, shocked to find Casey there. Her sleep fogged brain just had time to mumble out 'Matt?' before she realised she hadn't even put on a robe. Embarrassed, she crossed her arms over her chest in a vain attempt at retaining some modesty but Casey had already given her the once over; taken in her skimpy outfit and dishevelled hair. Had she imagined that sharp intake of breath as his eyes raked over her body? Surely she had?

"I'm sorry," he murmured, having the good grace to look a little embarrassed himself. As he spoke he broke her train of thought and she shook her head quickly to try and regain it. "You were sleeping. I should've called... Should've waited..." His voice trailed off and he stood there, his feet shuffling restlessly as he tried to figure out what he wanted to say.

"I-" Gabby didn't know what to say, why he was here. She wondered briefly if this was a dream but then he stepped forward and placed his hand on her arm, a soft, gentle touch that made her skin tingle and her heart race, and she knew she wasn't dreaming.

"I felt awful rushing off earlier but Vargas needed my help, he-he's struggling and I don't blame him. He was going to do something stupid and I had to help him - I couldn't just..." He trailed off again, struggling to find the words.

"You're a good friend," Gabby managed, hoping he would see the duality in her words. She shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other, still very aware of her state of undress, of how close he was standing. She could smell his aftershave, feel the heat his body exuded as his callused but beautiful fingertips rubbed the top of her arm. She glanced at the floor then back up at his face and noticed for the first time how tired he looked, how conflicted. His lovely blonde hair was dishevelled as though he'd been frantically running his hands through it.

"This is all so confusing. I-I just split with Hallie, I'm rebounding or whatever the hell you call it. I know. But I also know that I nearly kissed you earlier. That all evening you are all I've been able to think about and that kissing you is something I've wanted to do for a good long while. I kept deluding myself, pushing it aside, but I like you. A lot."

Gabby let out a strangled, disbelieving laugh but was spared having to think of something to say by his lips crushing hers, his body bearing down on her, pushing her gently back against the wall as his foot closed the apartment door behind them. This was crazy, but crazy sure felt good so she decided in that instant not to over-think it - just to see where they ended up...


	2. Chapter 2

**Many thanks to my one (and only!) reviewer Nascargirl and thanks to all that are following. Hope you enjoy the concluding part. ;) Cassie x**

Casey had stood staring at Dawson's apartment door with a keen craftsmen's eye for a good ten minutes before he finally plucked up the courage to knock. There wasn't much he couldn't tell you about that door. The cheap, Colonial oak veneer was held in place with three decidedly crappy brass parliament hinges. The brass '23' that told him he was at the right door - at Dawson's door - was only brass plate and some of that had started to wear off, dull grey metal peeking out from underneath. The screws used to hold it in place were 30mm brass wood screws and were too large for the job so they didn't sit flush with the number but were raised a little when he ran his fingers over them. The lock was an electro brass tubular latch that he could've opened fairly easily if he so desired, and her peephole? Definitely wasn't up to snuff!

It was when he'd moved on to examining the walls of the hallway (flat matt paint, Victorian white) that he realised things were getting out of hand. Why was this so hard? He'd known Gabriella for years, she was one of his closest friends. This should be easy, right?

It wasn't.

He agonised for a few more seconds then knocked the door quickly, before he could change his mind, and kept knocking until she answered. The only way to calm his racing mind would be to finish what he'd almost started that evening, to tell her how he really felt, to just get everything, as confusing and draining as it was, off his chest.

His mind was whirling so much trying to organise what he wanted to say, to find the right words, that he never even considered the possibility that she might be sleeping until she opened the door, squinting at the light and beautifully dishevelled. It was then that he realised how much his hands were shaking and he wrung then out in front of him to try and steady himself. His body seemed to have a mind of its own this evening and as if to underline that point he involuntarily sucked in a sharp breath when he saw her, his eyes unable to resist roaming her body. From her perfectly manicured toes up, past her slender ankles to those fabulously toned thighs. Thighs he would like nothing more than to have wrapped around him tonight - tonight and every night until he was too old and grey to know or care if they were there. He travelled further, past the beautiful curve of her hips, over the smooth flat plane of her stomach and up past her small, pert, perfect breasts. He lingered for a moment on the soft curve of her neck, the hollow of her throat drawing his eye as he imagined placing soft kisses there, then she shifted uncomfortably, crossing her arms protectively across her chest and he felt like a bit of a jerk.

That was when the verbal torrent had spewed forth. He wasn't sure what he was saying, the words just all rushed out - a complicated jumble of apology and explanation until eventually he could think of nothing more to say and finally he gave in to his wayward body and let it do what it wanted, what it had wanted for a long time. He kissed her as fiercely as he dared and when she didn't resist gently eased her back into the apartment, up against the wall and closed the door. He didn't want their first kiss to be in a dingy hallway.

She parted her lips and he gladly accepted the invitation, his tongue darting inside and claiming her mouth as his own. His hands found hers and, hard, callused fingers entwined with soft, delicate ones, he pinned them up against the wall too so they were standing crucifix style as his mouth finally travelled lower, his lips claiming the hollow of her throat at last. It tasted just as sweet as he'd known it would.

That was when she spoke and all the air went out of him for a second.

"Matt, I-"

"Don't." He released one of her hands and covered her lips with his index finger, a universal sign for quiet. "Just don't." He gazed into her beautiful brown eyes, noticing for the umpteenth time the flecks of gold around the pupil. She was so very different to him - dark where he was fair, soft where he was hard, fiery and opinionated where he was level headed. Well his level head had gone out of the window tonight and the only thing he was sure of in that moment was that if they stopped now all was lost. "Don't think, just... Do. My brain is full of a million different questions but I always listen to my brain and tonight it can shut up! You - you never do. You follow your heart in all things, however reckless that may be, and that is one of the things that I love most about you. Please don't change, not now, not when I need you most to look at your heart and see what it wants. I'm pretty sure it wants the same as mine..."

He trailed off, his eyes frantically searching her face for legitimate signs of doubt. He found none and when she stood on tip toes to reignite their kiss he knew passion had won - reason was going to come in last place tonight and his heart was rejoicing at that.

He placed his hands on her hips and lifted her up, her glorious thighs wrapped round his waist - a perfect fit as he knew they would be. Not even breaking their kiss he carried her down the hall, realising as he went he didn't know where her bedroom was. He almost walked past it but she grabbed the door jamb and guided him inside. He somehow made it over to the large, wrought iron bed she had and broke their kiss briefly so he could ease her onto the covers. Her tan skin was a stark contrast on the white sheets and he took a minute admire her by the moonlight streaming through the window before he divested himself of the t-shirt he was wearing and climbed on top of her. He propped himself up with the palm of one hand, not wanting to crush her, as his other hand wandered down to the hem of her tank top. Her fingers, meanwhile, were tracing the contours of his abs and he bit his bottom lip to distract himself. Then he noticed the hard little nubs her nipples were making through her top and that was a whole new level of distraction. He dipped his head lower, his teeth grazing her ear lobe and then moving south as his hand raced northwards under her tank top, eager to claim its prize.

His thumb gently flicked one taut nipple and she arched her back underneath him in response. Smiling he realised her fingers were raking at his belt and when she had it and his jeans undone he paused for a moment, standing briefly to wriggle out of them. As he did so he was haloed in the moonlight and the satisfied smirk on her lips wasn't lost on him.

Grinning, he eased himself back down and helped her out of her top, discarding it in a heap on the floor with his own. With nothing but her panties and his boxer shorts to hinder them now he gently took one of her nipples into his mouth, his teeth grazing the hard little nub as his free hand flicked and teased the other. She let out a little whimper, her nails raking over his back, as he began trailing soft butterfly kisses down her stomach. His tongue swirled briefly around her navel and then travelled lower still, his lips brushing the inside of her thighs, teeth nipping the tender flesh as his fingers slowly eased her panties off. He blew softly, cool air whispering between her thighs, and she parted he legs farther, not wanting his progress hindered at all. His tongue found its way to her soft, warm centre and her back arched again as he found her clit, her fingers wound in his already tousled hair, urging him on. The tugging on his hair grew more persistent and finally she murmured: "Matt, please..."

She tugged his hair again then grabbed one of his biceps and pulled him back up the bed towards her. His lips claimed hers again and she groaned then in one swift move flipped them over so she was straddling him and he was pinned to the bed, much to his surprise.

Matt had promised himself that whatever happened he would never compare Dawson with Hallie, never. Oh, but she was making it difficult! She was so very different from his old fiancée and he could barely contain his excitement at that. He and Hallie had been together a long time and things had gotten kind of... Predictable. But even in the early days he knew she'd never have done something like that. In her career she went all out to get what she wanted, in the bedroom she was happy to put up with whatever he had to give. But Gabriella... She knew what she wanted and she was darn sure going to make sure she got it!

Smiling, Matt pulled her face down briefly for a kiss, anything to distract from how very tight and uncomfortable his boxers were becoming. Gabby had other ideas, though. Breaking the kiss she slid down his torso, trailing kisses in the much the same way he had earlier. Then very carefully she eased his boxers off with her mouth, her teeth grazing his erection as she did. He groaned and concentrated very hard on not ruining everything too soon as she discarded his boxer shorts with the rest of their clothes on the floor. Her mouth curled up in a wicked, and he hoped appreciative, little grin as she took in the sight before her and that was when it hit him. Crap!

"Oh Gabby, I don't- I don't have any-" he begun, not quite able to spit out the words. She looked at him, puzzled for a few seconds then comprehension dawned.

"It's ok," she said, leaning forward and reaching into her nightstand. As she did so her breasts passed tantalisingly close to his face and he closed his eyes briefly and tried to think of something, anything, to stop him going over the edge. She pulled back, waving a shiny little packet in the air and grinning at the look on his face. "I used to be a girl scout," she whispered, pulling it open with her teeth.

"Thank God!" Casey breathed a sigh of relief as she rolled the condom in place and then it was his turn to surprise her as he pushed her back into the pillows and took control of the situation again. She gazed up at him, her eyes darting quickly at the sudden change of position. Dawson may be good at getting what she wanted but tonight, tonight Casey was going to give her what he knew she needed.

Slowly, he eased himself inside her, gazing at her beautiful face as he did so. She'd closed her eyes and he just held still and waited, admiring her dark hair splayed on the pillow (her braid hadn't lasted long) and the rosy flush in her cheeks. After a few seconds she opened them again and he pressed his forehead to hers, rubbed their noses together in a soft Eskimo kiss and then caught her bottom lip between his teeth. Anything to buy them a few moments to adjust to this new level of intimacy they were sharing. He couldn't hold out for long though - she felt too darn good and he'd waited too darn long - so slowly he started to move. She rocked her hips as he did so and they quickly found their rhythm, speeding up until Casey felt he was going to explode. He could feel her climax building and was determined to hold on. He lived by the motto ladies first in all things - and nowhere was that more true than the bedroom!

Sliding his hand down between their hot, sweaty bodies, he found her clit and just like that she reached her climax, hands balling into fists, toes curling. He could feel her riding the waves of her orgasm and the aftershocks sent him over the edge, down into oblivion right alongside her. They were breathing heavily now and he held her for a while, letting their breathing slow somewhat before he withdrew. He threw the used condom into her waste basket and settled under the covers next to her, pulling her close. She nestled herself against his chest and they lay there in silence, content to just be near each other.

He wasn't sure what the future had in store for them, how things were going to pan out or what would happen next but as they lay in the darkness of her room, hearts racing, limbs entwined, he thought he knew where to start.

He was going to fix up her front door...


	3. Chapter 3

**I know I said this was finished, but what can I say? It wouldn't leave me alone! This really is the last part though... I'm working on something new already... ;) This is very disjointed and a bit rushed I think and I plan to rewrite it in the very near future but for now - Enjoy! Many thanks for the reviews (and follows/favourites), they're greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading! Cassie x**

They'd been laying there for a while, arms and legs entwined, chests rising and falling in unison, when it happened.

Casey's stomach rumbled.

Not a quiet little grumble, but a full on groan of hunger. Afterwards, they both held their breath for a moment, quietly taking in what had just happened, and then Dawson started sniggering. She buried her face in his chest to stifle her laughter and when that didn't work tried biting her bottom lip instead as she finally lifted her gaze to meet his.

"I'm glad my hunger amuses you!" Casey tried to look angry but couldn't pull it off and soon he was laughing too.

"Serves you right for skipping dinner!" She giggled and he stopped laughing to look at her deadpanned.

"Touché! " He retorted, his right hand miming as though he were twirling an imaginary moustache between his fingers, his eyebrows rocketing upwards at the same time.

It was several minutes and not a small amount of tickling later that they'd both calmed down enough for Gabby to start thinking straight.

"Dinner is in the fridge. I could have it re-heated in like 10 minutes if you want some? I'm pretty hungry too, now I think about it," she admitted.

"Dinner would be good," he smiled, an apologetic smile to try and begin atoning for his leaving so abruptly before. She smiled right back and reluctantly disentangled herself from his embrace and rolled out of bed. She stooped and grabbed his discarded t-shirt from the floor, pulling it over her head as she left the room. Casey couldn't help but grin at the sight of her in his oversized shirt and nothing else, her long slender legs peeking out underneath the thigh skimming garment. That t-shirt sure looked better on her than it did on him! He shook his head to clear it and followed her down the hall, pulling his boxers on as he went.

She was already at the stove, a heavy cast iron pan sitting on the gas burner as she bent to put what looked like a loaf of bread in the oven. Casey leant against the door frame, tilting his head to the side to admire the view.

Dawson didn't even look up from what she was doing, just threw the tea-towel she was holding in the general direction of his face. His shadow had alerted her to his presence and the indignant "Hey!" that he elicited let her know her missile had hit its target. Smirking, she turned and walked to the fridge, still not looking at him. She pulled the butter dish out, along with 2 beers, and set them on the breakfast bar then set about laying out plates and cutlery. She was leaning on the counter, arranging everything as she wanted it when he crept up behind her and slid his arms around her waist. He pulled her backwards slightly so she was nestled against him and buried his face in her hair, relishing in the coconut scent of her shampoo.

For her part Dawson closed her eyes and tried to capture every single detail in her memory, afraid that this one night might be all she had and darn sure she didn't want to forget a single second of it. He smelt delicious, like sex and sweat and... testosterone. He made her feel so small and so safe at the same time, his touch set her skin on fire and all her senses reeling. She was busy committing his scent, his touch, his warmth to memory when his lips found her ear.

"I really do like you, you know," he whispered and she had to suppress a shudder as his breath brushed her ear. "I've liked you for a very long time. It just took me a while to realise it..." She pivoted slowly in his embrace so she was facing him, her eyes raking his face for some clue as to what he meant, what she should do next.

"So... Where do we go from here?" She ventured at last, her hands tracing the contours of his abs nervously as she waited for his reply.

"I guess... We just take it slow. Let things happen in their own time? We've done things a bit backwards, I know, but you definitely need me to spend a couple more evenings over here fixing your door-"

"My door?" She cut him off, puzzled. "What's wrong with my door?"

"What's right with your front door? I could write a thousand word essay on the problems with that door! But they're easy fixes. Just the hinges, some new screws for-"

"Ok, so it would appear you have some kind of beef with my front door. If you say it needs fixing I'm happy to trust you. Just please don't start talking nuts and bolts - I'm too tired!" She laughed.

"Fair play. I shall definitely be working on your front door at some point soon, let's leave it at that! Now where was I? Ah - taking things slow. Dinner. I figure I owe you dinner."

"You do, huh?"

"Yeah. I never do things like this you know? I mean - I always at least buy a girl dinner before I have sex with her..." His voice trailed off and he flashed her a cheeky grin, so she'd know he was joking.

"What kind of dinner we talking here? A bucket of chicken wings?" Dawson teased, playing along.

"A whole bucket? That's a bit pricey, huh? Maybe 4 pieces? Or a Big Mac meal even? I mean, if I really like her I might even supersize it..."

"Wow! A supersized Big Mac meal? Impressive. You are quite the catch Matt Casey!" She couldn't help but laugh. The thought of Matt Casey bribing girls with fast food for sex was an amusing one. "But I sure as hell didn't get no Big Mac so now I figure you owe me something a little better?" She said indignantly.

He scratched his head as though he were dumbfounded and trying to think of a suitable alternative."Er... Take-out pizza?" He finally ventured.

They both fell about laughing until he abruptly caught her face in his big, rough hands and kissed her fiercely. Taken aback somewhat she hesitated for a second then returned the kiss with fervour. Her knees were shaking and she felt a little unsteady on her feet when he pulled away, not to mention the ache he left behind in the pit of her stomach. He smiled down at her, his eyes locked with hers for what felt like an eternity before he let his hands drop from her face and find her waist again.

"In all seriousness," he was practically whispering again. "This wasn't just a booty call. I'm not the kind of guy that's into one night stands and messing people around. What happened tonight? It really isn't like me. It was great - I mean, it was great? Wasn't it?"

His uncertainty was kind of adorable.

"It was almost perfect," she replied wryly.

"Almost?" He tilted his head to one side, a questioning look on his face.

"Almost," she repeated with a sly grin, giving nothing away.

He smiled, brushing a stray lock of hair away from her face before he continued. "I really want this to work out for us."

"Me too." Dawson whispered, lowering her gaze to his chest so he wouldn't see just how much she wanted that.

The timer beeped on her stove and startled them both. She disentangled herself from his embrace and went to remove the loaf of rye bread she'd put in the oven to warm through. She slid it onto a plate, removed the pan from the hob and dished them both up a hearty plate of food. When she was done she sat at the breakfast bar without a word and patted the stool next to her so Casey would join her. He sat down beside her and they started to eat. The food was just as delicious as Casey knew it would be and he pondered on what it might be like sitting round a dining table with their kids every night, eating Dawson's wonderful cooking. He could almost see them in his mind's eye - a rowdy little boy with dirty blonde hair and his dark haired, beautiful sister - talking about school, arguing about toys and smiling as they ate. Silence settled around them as they busied themselves with their food, each sipping a beer as they went and caught up in their own thoughts. Neither spoke again until they'd emptied their plates and then it was Dawson that broke the spell.

"What about work? You know we aren't supposed to-"

"I know," he cut her off, sliding an arm around her and pulling her in so her head was resting on his shoulder as they remained seated. "I would never ask you to jeopardise your career for me. Never. We don't have to let work know straight away. We'll just take-"

"Things slow. I get it." She sighed, picking up their plates and heading to the sink where she started scrubbing them furiously, venting her frustration on the dishes.

"Hey!" Matt said, getting out of his seat and moving over to her. He tentatively touched her arm and when he met no resistance turned her gently to face him. "What does that mean?"

"You tell me? Am I going to be your dirty little secret? You're late night go to when no one's looking?" Her voice was hoarse and there were tears in her eyes.

"God no!" Casey was horrified that she thought that. "Never!" He pulled her close, burying her face in his chest once more as he rubbed her back and ran his fingers through her hair.

"Then how is this going to work?" She queried, pulling back to look him in the face and gauge his response.

"Honestly? You're an EMT and I'm Lieutenant on truck. I don't see why it should be an issue and I'm really hoping that when the time comes to tell Chief and everyone that it won't be. But if it is? Then I'll transfer. Simple."

"I couldn't ask you to do that-"

"Good job you didn't ask then, huh?" He smiled, wiping a lonely tear from her cheek. "It's a job, Gabriella. A job that I love, but still - just a job. Hallie was willing to let her job, her ambitions, stop her from living her life fully but I'm not. You are more to me than the job and I wish it hadn't taken me so long to figure that out, I really do. If I have to move then I have to move. It's not such a big deal. I know this is all sudden and moving quickly but I honestly think that if I was forced to choose - you would win. Every time. We don't have to rush into telling people but I won't ask you to keep it secret forever. I'm just asking for a bit of time for us to find our feet and see what we both want first. Is that ok?"

She nodded, unable to speak because the bubble of happiness that had welled up inside her was too great. He saw a future with her, was willing to make sacrifices and changes so they could be together. She was important to him! The thought made her so warm and happy inside she felt like she might burst. She shook her head to clear it and finally found the words she wanted.

"Slow and steady, gotcha," she nodded to emphasise the point, suddenly tired of talking and being sensible. "But can slow and steady start tomorrow? Because tonight I'd like to work on perfection..."

She smiled slyly and began heading back to her bedroom, stopping halfway across the kitchen she reached out her arm to him. Grinning he took her outstretched hand in his own and followed her into the bedroom, safe in the knowledge that whatever happened, they had each other.


End file.
